Necessary evil.

There's nothing quite so humbling, loving, and necessary as a spouse giving you a talking to when you need it. Especially when one has been praying for it subconsciously, and when one knows one deserves it. I knew my conscience had been prickly lately but I kept ignoring it... so someone lovingly stepped in and gave it a shove.

I've lately been growing more and more unhappy with someone I know and, being me, I "vented" to Jay, apparently a lot more than I was aware of. Well, venting turned to nasty comments, and complaining, and gossiping... which is way way off of the steam-escape that venting is supposed to be, and contain nothing of the problem solving goal of good constructive venting!

So, today, after the "session", I slugged around, blue and sad, but deep-down rather pleased with him for caring enough to risk making me angry and defensive, with a nice side-order of shame for thinking such poor thoughts about a fellow human being who, apparently, has done nothing wrong. It's just one more case of my issues with someone being just that: my issues. Egad, how I hate this cycle of nastiness inside. It just changes surface attributes over the years, but it's always the same thing: other people not fitting into my thoughts and desires of how I think they should be. When will I ever learn this lesson? I hate it. But I guess I asked for it.